Raising great kids starts with open conversation
From a smiling baby to a willful toddler to now a teen, you grew up in the blink of an eye.
For anyone who has kids, I’m guessing you have all heard from your parents, friends and others how fast kids grow up and how quickly time flies. It’s usually hard to believe it at the time but in the blink of an eye, you soon get to realize how true that all is.
One second you are changing an endless procession of diapers and then in a heartbeat, you are sitting in the passenger seat of your car teaching your kid how to drive. A lot of amazing opportunities to create lasting incredible relationships are available in between that surprisingly short period. It’s never too early to connect with your kids and develop a solid relationship built on trust, love, understanding and joy.
Children grow up way too fast so let them be kids while they are still young.
The two best secret ingredients that will help develop kids into strong, happy, successful adults are LISTENING and TALKING used daily with an open mind and the understanding that our kids are way more capable of understanding than many of us realize.
Many of us try to shelter and protect our kids from the evil and influential turmoil in the world. We bubble-wrap our kids aiming to protect them from harm only to suffocate them with helicopter parenting.
I don’t know about you, but I did some really crazy stuff as a kid all of which helped shape me into the successful man I am today. We need to let go a little and let kids be kids but arm them with the skills and knowledge to be independent, aware, and capable of navigating the world around them.
LISTENING ATTENTIVELY is a skill so many of us need to work on. Whomever we are listening to be it our colleagues, friends or most importantly our families, we need to show them appreciation and respect by giving them our full attention and truly listening. You’ll be amazed at what you learn when you listen to what others are saying.
TIP, don’t fill your mind with what you want to say next, this tends to distract you from retaining what you are hearing. One of my all-time favourite things I get to remember with my kids growing up is when they would come home from school and start telling me all about EVERYTHING that went on that day.
Sure, it meant I had to stop working for a little while, but I know spending that time with them and listening to all they had to say was invaluable to all of us.
TALKING OPENLY AND HONESTLY is vital to nurturing any relationship, especially with your kids. You can ask your kids questions without interrogating them, by asking them obvious questions about how they are doing, what’s up with a friend, what they think they would want for dinner… Working your way up to talking about anything that may be more complicated, sensitive, or upsetting.
Sharing your past experiences, your failures your crazy days and the difficulties you’ve gone through will help you be more relatable to them and help your kids see that you understand and that you are not perfect, and you don’t expect them to be.
TIP, sharing stories of your past, and painting a clear picture of what is good, bad, to be avoided and why, along with real-life scenarios will help them hear what you are saying and learn from you.
Without me realizing it, those small precious moments became precious memories.
GIVE THEM GENUINE PRAISE for the things they do, no matter how small (thanks for picking up your socks) or how big (great job winning the Nobel Prize in quantum mechanics). Encourage them to think differently, to see the wonders of the world around them and to appreciate who they are and all they have. Always keep curiosity alive in not only them but you as well.
LET KIDS BE CREATIVE, believe it or not, ALL KIDS are naturally creative and so are you. It’s just how the world has beaten that wonderful talent out of most of us over time. Don’t let that happen to your kids. Creativity comes in unlimited forms and we all can excel at any number of them.
So, encourage your kids to be creative in their thinking, their actions and their problem-solving. This is one of the most fulfilling and rewarding ways can connect with your kids.
BEING ACTIVE AND FULLY PRESENT in your kid’s life is extremely important, that goes without saying. Sometimes we cannot always be there as much as we want to or need to be. Your goal must be to maximize every second you get with your kids, don’t let any time slip away wasted. Fill in all those empty spaces with meaningful conversations, and productive activities but most of all have fun with them every time you can.